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Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Umbrella Thief

Thought about men

Thought 1

When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
*******

Thought 2

The average man's life consists of :
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners wondering too.
*******

Thought 3

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."

The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

The man asked. "Who are you?"

"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.

"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
*******

Thought 4

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.

They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.

Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.

The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.

So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life."

Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."

The whole audience including priest started laughing.... ...... but not the poor
groom!

Mirror Desire

Lalu spoke in love, "Why don't you and I go to some place where there is nobody."
Pyari flirted, "You won't make any mischief with me there, would you?"

Lalu assured in fright, "Not at all"
Pyari angered, "Then why the hell you want to go to there?"

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

Always listen to your wife, she gives sound advice :

99% Sound and 1% Advice….

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

A student In a interview:

How does an electric motor run?
Student:dhuurrrr

Interviewer shouts: stop it.
Student: dhurr dhp dp dup dup.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.

Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.

Wives r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's
no choice.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .....

Friday, June 20, 2008

Some humorus sign ads

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop: Guitar, for sale....... cheap....... ....no strings attached.

Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room: Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!

Seen on a bulletin board: Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.


When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading.

My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses... He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.

You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When: Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off.

Sign In A Bar: "Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance."

Sign In Driving School: If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.

Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman.

The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions.

Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.

Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone.

The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.

Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit: We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.

A Traffic Slogan: Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough Or Else They Will Never Be.

Sign In A Restaurant: All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.

Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window: Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother !

Funny Cakes










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